Woman at the Well: Homesick & Heart Memories

Years ago I was having a disagreement with someone about if it's possible to miss something you have never had.

His viewpoint was that if you don't know something, you can't miss it.

Mine was that we each have longings for something and if it's off, even if we have never known different, we can miss it.

For instance a child in an abusive family may be raised to believe that all families are abusive, and not know anything different, but they will still desire to be with people who don't abuse them.

I think you can miss something you don't know.

And I think you can miss something that you don't remember.

When I first heard the concept of existing before we were born, it was as if something opened up inside of me and said "you remember". And although I don't have specific memories, I have what I call heart memories. I think that's why sometimes when you meet someone you can hit if off with that person instantly. There's something about them you connect to - as if you had known each other for years instead of just meeting. You recognize each other in some way. Of course you don't have any memories you can bring to your mind, but your hearts remember something.

I had dreams about three of my children before they were born. I was not pregnant with any of them at the time of those dreams. With two of them I was pregnant with a different child. But I saw these children and their faces and their attitudes and I recognized them when they did eventually come.

I know every now and then, I get homesick for a place that I don't remember. A place of exquisite beauty, where everyone is accepted, where everyone is loved, where talents are recognized.

I know I'm not the only one. I've heard friends express it every now and then. Life gets hard, problems seem insurmountable, there are days when nothing we do is right, relationships can be difficult, and then we get that twinge that says "this is only for a short time, there's a better place, hang in there, you'll be home before you know it" And then we can carry on, knowing that there's a place waiting for us when we're finished with what we have to do here. And it's not a new place, it's not a place we've never been. It's home.