Free For All Friday: Blood and Guts Soup

The day of writing about anything I want. Or in this case, posting another oldie.

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This was originally published in 2005

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I hate cooking.

So it was to my husband’s great astonishment, and to mine, that I came up with my own creation.

One evening I proudly presented my “Italian Meatball Soup”.

“Where did you get the recipe?” my husband asked.

“I made it up,” I replied.

“Why?”

“I thought it might be fun.”

“You thought it might be fun to cook?” he asked.

“No, I thought it might be fun to make up a recipe. Try it.”

My children eyed each other doubtfully.

We have a rule in our family, unless you have a medical reason not to (if you eat it, it will cause your throat to swell up to three times it’s size and your skin to break out in boils and you will die), you are required to take a little bit of everything on the table, whether you like it or not. So they each passed their bowls to their father while he ladled out the soup.

“Hey! It’s good!” a child announced.

I had no leftovers that day, and my family often asked for it again.

One Halloween proved to be bitterly cold and I decided that I would provide my children with a warm, hearty, nutritious meal to offset the chocolate bars and suckers they would shortly be gorging on. So the Italian Soup was made along with a batch of Crazy Bread.

“What’s for dinner?” a vampire asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Blood and Guts Soup with Skeleton Bones,” I replied.

“Hey cool!” the vampire shouted. “Hey everyone, Mom’s serving Blood and Guts Soup and Skeleton Bones!”

“Ewww! I don’t want to eat Blood and Guts!” a princess exclaimed.

“Sounds good to me,” said a cowboy.

The princess was happy to see that the Blood and Guts was a favorite old standby and she happily ate it with the others.

It doesn’t take long and can be started at 5 for a 6 o’clock meal. I’m well known for not starting to cook until it’s too late for dinner. Or if you’re one of those organized people that does everything ahead of time, it can be made early in the day and kept warm on the stove. And it still tastes good the next day. By the way, Skeleton Bones is simply pizza dough shaped into bone shapes and sprinkled with pizza spices and parmesan cheese.

Blood and Guts Soup (or Italian Meatball Soup)

There are no measurements for this soup. Just take a good guess. Besides, moms don’t measure anything anyway.

Meatballs: make these first and have them cooking in the oven while you prepare the rest of the soup. You can use your own recipe or use the one following.

Ground meat: beef , pork, lamb, horse, boy, doesn’t matter, as long as the meat is ground up.

Egg: chicken eggs work best, but any other small egg is fine, unless you’re cooking for an army then you might want to try an ostrich egg. I’ve never used one myself, but this recipe is flexible.

Breadcrumbs: not the kind you make stuffing with, the real crumbs. If you don’t have any you can take that old stale bread that someone left open on the counter, stick it in the blender and reduce it to dust.

Onion: Chop these up. Yeah, I know, go ahead and cry. Of course you don’t have to use them, but it does taste better.

Stick this all in a bowl and then add squirts of ketchup, mustard, bar-b-queue sauce, Tabasco sauce or anything else you find in the fridge. This is the time to have fun, paint pictures with the condiments, or sing songs (a squirt, squirt here and a squirt, squirt there). Now you can add spices. Cinnamon and nutmeg do not work here. Bring out the garlic and oregano and any other spice you might like.

Now stick your hands in, ewwww, I know, it’s gross but do it anyway. Stick your hands in and mix it all up.

Form into little meatballs. No smaller. Little teeny, tiny meatballs. We are not making spaghetti here, we want little bits of meat. I find the easiest way to cook these is to put them on a grill pan and bake them in the oven at 350. Did I mention to turn on the oven?

Now get out a big pot, and open up several cans of tomato soup. How ever many you think you need. Add equal amounts of water. Add a can or two of tomato paste with equal amounts of water.

If you’ve got a can or two of mushrooms you can add those as well. Don’t drain them. And you can add a can of tomatoes, just make sure it’s crushed or chunked up. If your soup looks more like sauce don’t be afraid to add water.

Throw in some spices. Garlic, oregano, garlic, basil, garlic, pepper, whatever spices you want (no not cinnamon). Just don’t forget to add the garlic. By the way, your soup base should be on the stove on low.

Now look in your fridge in the crisper. That celery that’s wilted and lying on the bottom can be used. So can that old green pepper that nobody wants to touch, or that zucchini that your children refuse to eat. And don’t forget the onion. Note: we’re not talking rotten here. Use whatever you think would go in tomato soup. Take your vegetables chop them up and sauté them. If you don’t have any vegetables, don’t worry about it. When the veggies are done, throw them in the soup.

Put a pot of water on to boil. When it’s reached a full boil throw in a handful or two of pasta. Not spaghetti. Macaroni or rotini or wagon wheels or spirals, or whatever else you want. But only a little bit. This is not a pasta dish, this is a soup dish. When the pasta is done, drain it and throw it in the soup.

I hope your meatballs aren’t burned. You should have been checking them. When they’re done, throw them into your soup.

Leave it all day or serve it immediately. It’s good the next day too. Honest.