Throwback Thursday: Annamaniacs - Old Ladies, and Monsters, and Elks, Oh My

The day of stepping back in time when I had a newspaper column. *****

This was originally published in 2005.

For a few years we lived in a small town that had banned trick or treating. No witches or werewolves came to our doors. No ghosts with outstretched hands. No princesses or skeletons or monsters.

It was so sad.

Instead the town council had decided that it was much better to host a Halloween party which consisted of penny games. The trick or treating part of the event involved walking down a line where you got a treat from different bowls of candy.

And the best part, was the smoke filled room from all the proud drunk parents and the entire police population keeping an eye on things in case anyone decided to open fire with his shotgun.

Somehow this was so much better than letting hooligans run around in the fresh air bothering people by actually coming up to your door.

Someone on town council had forgotten what it’s like to be a kid.

Frankly, there is no substitution for trick or treating.

When else do you get to dress up in costumes and go knocking on doors begging for food with the guarantee that you will receive it?

My father who came from war torn Europe, never did understand or embrace this concept. He couldn’t remember being a kid because he never got to be one and I think he was horrified that his children would actually go up to doors begging for candy. Thank goodness for a Canadian mother who remembered kiddom.

You never know who will answer the door. It might be a witch with a long green nose, a parent who knows that chocolate bars are way better than apples, or an old lady who asks you to sing.

It’s always old people and teenagers who ask you to sing and both groups have that amused look in their eyes when they ask you to do it. I’m convinced that these two groups of people are not far apart sociologically from each other, but I already wrote about that in another column.

Of course there is always someone who feels compelled to hand out toothbrushes since eating candy is a sin.

So after one experience with the smoky drunken Halloween party we decided from then on that it would be better for our crew to go to the next big town and run around in the fresh air.

Although in Canada it’s frustrating to spend all that thought and time on a costume only to have to cover it up with heavy coats and fur lined boots. Fairies get their wings squished in coats, and they don’t fly well with heavy boots.

One year we found ourselves in Banff. Some high mucky muck in my then husbands business thought it was a brilliant idea to schedule a conference during Halloween weekend only to find to his horror that everyone insisted on bringing their kids, which he was against, until one of the most influential women in Canada and the head of the company insisted on bringing hers. So…that night there were ghosts and monsters in Banff from all over the Great White North.

Usually when you go trick or treating, you’re watching for cars and bullies. That night we were watching for bears.

No bears, but at one point there was an elk with a full rack running down the middle of the road. At one point he stopped and eyed me as I carefully positioned myself behind a car, with one eye on my daughter who was headed up someone’s front porch.

We stared each other down. Who knows what he was thinking, but I know I imagined myself suddenly sprout wings, grab my daughter and play merry-go-round keeping cars between me and those antlers.

I guess he didn’t find me interesting because he suddenly tore off down the street to terrorize more trick or treaters.

I’m hoping no one dressed up as an elk that night. It might have confused him.

Between the elks and the old ladies who ask you to sing, trick or treating is a tough business.