Throwback Thursday: Annamaniacs -The Electronic Evolution of the 21st Century

The day of traveling back int time to when I had a column. This one was published in 2004, so now it is as dated as where I start it. *****

I’m old enough to remember rabbit ears.

And black and white TV.

And only getting a couple of channels. Back then you had to use the rabbit ears to get a clear picture. Now before you youngens start wondering how live bunnies can make your reception better, let me explain.

Rabbit ears were a contraption with two long stems that stuck up from a base. Hence the name rabbit ears. You put this on top of your tv and then moved the ears around until you could make out the picture on your tv. While you did this, everybody else in the room would say “nope,” “try twisting it around the other way” “hey you’ve got it.” “Now you’ve lost it.”

Eventually, whomever was playing with the rabbit ears would end up standing with one foot in the air, another on an ottoman, one hand on the tv and the other holding the rabbit ears as close to the roof as you can get while they hummed the national anthem.

But then we evolved. Cable and color tv came into our lives. We got 12 channels of glorious color all at our fingertips by just a push of the button.

Then someone decided that they didn’t want to get up from their chair to change channels. So the remote control was invented. It was a simple little device. You could turn a tv on and off, change the channel and even control the volume. The only drawback was it’s penchant for getting lost, but if all else failed, you could still use the controls on the TV.

Then someone came up with the VCR. Now you could watch one channel and record another. New daytime soap fans were created because they could watch their favorite show at the end of the day and not miss work. Movies became available for everyone. And it could all be done with a remote. And if you lost the remote, the buttons were still accessible on the VCR.

Admittedly, some people couldn’t figure out how to program the clock, never mind program a weeks worth of TV. However, I did not have a problem with this. I could program that VCR for several weeks on several different channels at several different times and not be anywhere near it. I figured out how to edit out commercials, and how not to get that static in between movies. In fact, I built up quite a library just by recording off the TV. Occasionally that remote would get lost, but it could all be done straight from the VCR itself.

Then new VCR’s came along. They didn’t have buttons on the new VCR’s. It had a sleeker design. You could do everything with the remote. Only there was a problem if the remote was lost or broken. If that happened, all you could do is plug in a movie. No more recording, no more fixing the tracking. You were stuck with whatever that VCR decided to do.

Now we have over a hundred channels, a DVD and a VCR, and I can’t figure out how to turn on my TV.

Seriously, I turn on the TV, and no picture. I have to press several different buttons, do the hokey pokey, and then yell “I can’t turn on the TV, can somebody do it for me please?”

I have a friend who got satellite, a TV with surround sound, and whatever else goes into a complete home entertainment system. She has about a dozen different remotes. From what I can make out, you have to press several buttons on remote #1 then several more on remote #5, then several buttons on the other remotes and eventually the TV turns on.

And even though I don’t have the entertainment system my friend has, at the time of writing this, I have one foot in the air, another on an ottoman, one hand on the tv and the other hand holding several different remotes as close to the ceiling as I can get while I hum the national anthem, all so I can turn on my TV.

Ah, progress. We have come so far.