The Ultimate Blog Challenge & Canada Day Facts According to Me

It's been two years since my last blog post.

I figured it was time to get back to this.

And so I joined again, the Ultimate Blog Challenge. Each day for July, I will be posting a blog post.

I have no idea what I'm going to do.

I have no idea what I'm going to say. So every day will be a SURPRISE!

But I'm told that if you announce you're going to do something, you'll more likely do it. Likely because it's to save face. That's why I never tell anyone when I'm on a diet.

It's also Canada Day. I'm not feeling really great about Canada these days because there's a lot of stuff going on that I'm not a fan of, but it is my country until someone takes it over. So, some things about Canada.

1. It was first called Dominion Day and began on July 1, 1867. Initially, it included Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia. The West was wild. It also explains why Ontario and Quebec think they're more important than everyone.

2. The first Prime Minister was John A. MacDonald. After becoming prime minister, he set up a chain of fast food places selling burgers and fries and hired a clown to sell them.

3. I made up that last part.

4. Canada is made up of 10 provinces and 3 territories. However, within Canada, there are 3 separate countries. The English, the French, and the Indigenous. Most people speak English, but the French think they're the most important. The Indigenous just go along doing their own thing.

5. In 1982, Dominion Day became Canada Day. Interestingly, I don't recall that even though I was around. I must have been doing other stuff. Like dating or something.

6. In 1980, "O Canada" became the official song. Wait a minute! What? If that's true why were we singing O Canada for decades before that? I think this "fact" is a lie. I remember singing O Canada and God Save the Queen in school.

7. Canadians say "I'm sorry" a lot. I think it stems from the Loyalists. They were a group of people who came on a boat from various places in Europe and settled in what is now the U.S. When the Revolutionary War came along, they fought on the side of the British. Because they were stupid. When the British lost, they had to flee north and ended up in the Maritimes. I can say they were stupid because I'm descended from the loyalists. Seems Canadians have been apologizing ever since.

8. We're like a family of siblings.

   1. British Columbia - the creative, artsy, hippy, handsome brother who just wants to do his own thing. He's on the other side of the mountains, cut off from the rest of Canada, and that's just fine with him. He does weed and mushrooms, walks in the woods, kayaks in the ocean, grows fruits and vegetables, and figures out ways to live off-grid. Jumps on the latest social media belief. He helps out immensely financially, but no one appreciates that - they just see him as the flake.

   2. Alberta - This is the American Texas. He thinks he's better than everyone. Likes farming, guns, cattle, and oil. Drives big trucks. Does big business. Thinks he's the only one contributing to the family. Wears cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. He hates everyone.

   3. Saskatchewan - Sask is quiet. Doesn't make waves. Just lives almost invisibly. No one notices Saskatchewan except for the weird name, the flat country, and Corner Gas. Sask doesn't hate anyone. Doesn't even care if his roads are smooth. Just drive on through. Nothing to see here.

   4. Manitoba - Manitoba is the beautiful sister with the lakes. She's fine with people dropping in to say hi. Manitoba just stays out of trouble and enjoys life.

   5. Ontario - Ontario is the head of the family. He thinks he owns everyone. Everyone must run around Ontario. Ontario controls the finances, the laws, and the voting power. He gets mad when the other siblings don't bow down to him. He wears a crown and robe and carries a scepter.

   6. Quebec - Quebec is the one that has the tantrums. He thinks he should control everything. He thinks everyone should obey him. He wants everyone to speak French when everyone else speaks English. He threatens to leave the country all the time. The rest of the siblings say, "Okay, go." But he doesn't leave.

   7. Prince Edward Island - Everyone's favorite little sister. No one complains about PEI. Everyone claims it because of Anne of Green Gables.

   8. Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Newfoundland - The triplets. Always needing money. Always struggling. Enjoying life with their own music, their own lingo, fishing, and not having much in common with the rest of Canada.

   9. The territories - They're the ones that have one foot out and one foot in the family. Sometimes they show up. Sometimes they don't. They're wild and free and living in the cold.

   
   

   There you go - two blog posts in one. Only thirty left to go.