Wacky Hat Day

Years ago, 2011 actually, that was - my gosh! That was FIFTEEN YEARS ago! I blogged about hats. I thought it was time to do it again. Every fifteen years, you have to blog about hats. Now, mind you, these are not hats that people did just for the sake of doing a really bad hat. People actually wore them to events. In this case, to the Royal Ascot Races. That's the fancy outdoor shindig where everyone dresses up to watch horses race and bet their castles away. The men wear tails and top hats, and the women become pedestals for anything that lands on their heads.

So here we go...

"Moving day is so difficult. I've had to put my wardrobe on my head so I can carry boxes. I can't trust the movers with my feather boas and my yellow rose cocktail dress."

Has anyone seen my pom pom? I know I put it around here somewhere.

This should prevent Harold from kissing me. One wrong move and right in the eye! Plus, I can skewer my lunch on here and not have to carry it in my handbag.

I stayed up all night crocheting this watermelon and no one has complimented me on it yet! I'm even drinking a watermelon cocktail to match! Has no one got any taste?

Why yes, darling, I did crochet over the toilet plunger. And then I dyed some chicken wire, and I plucked some feathers from the pet parrot. Isn't it so clever? I made the beaded earrings too. Of course, the feathers sometimes obstruct my view, but we all know fashion is painful and inconvenient.

"My arm hurts holding up this watering can. It's your turn, Penelope." "Not bloody likely, Philippa! You insisted that you wanted to garden me. Besides, it would look silly having me water your ribbons." "I wish this bird in my dress would quit wiggling around. Look, he's managed to stick his tail feathers out of my sleeve!" "You think you have problems? When you spray-painted the flowers on my hat, gold, you managed to spray my hair, and it turned green!" "Well, we learned from that, didn't we? When we spray-painted my hat, we made sure I wasn't wearing it." "I need a drink. Maybe we could ask that watermelon lady where she got hers."

"Melba, you have to adjust your satellite dish. Their conversation is too muffled." "I'm trying, but it keeps sliding down into my face!" "Well then, adjust your glasses to prop it up! It's important that we record what they're saying." "This spy business is not as glamorous as I thought it would be." "The safety of our country relies on us getting the information. It's important to keep smiling and look like we're talking about roses or dogs." "When do we get to release the butterflies? I'm so looking forward to that!" "Oh, Agnes, we have several more hours of following them around." "Well, then, when will we know, Cora? "I've explained this all before. My fan tells me everything." "I need a drink." Oh, look, that watermelon lady has one, let's go ask her where she got it." "Melba! Stay focused!"

Good afternoon. I am Eliza Doolittle, and I'm feeling groovy! Well, except for having to balance this hat all day so that I don't fall over. It is giving my neck a strain.

I wish Mildred would stop laughing at me. The things I have to do to get into the Star of Esther Women's Society! Hazing is one thing, but wearing this hat at one of the most important events of the year is humiliating. I just have to get it stabbed by six more members, and then I'm in.

"No thank you. I brought my own refreshments."

Captain Kirk. I've got the Tribbles under control. Get Scotty to hurry and beam me up before they escape again.

I warned that bird that if he ever ate my roses again, I would have his butt turned into a hat.

It's tough fitting in my uni studies with these tedious social events. I can't wait to find a place to curl up for a good reading session. I have three exams next week.

If you're interested in more hat commentary, you can go here: Postcards From a Gypsy Pack Rat: Hats! Hats! And More Hats!